How to start an "effective I am sorry" dialogue not monologue

Did anyone hear about Joanna, a blind woman who used Twitter to fight her cause when her and her guide dog Olga were denied boarding on an EasyJet flight last Sunday.  
Stressed and needing support, her strategy was to get phone numbers for local media.  She tweeted:  

For the next 24 hours, hundreds of angry Tweets were written in support.  Steve Richards on Social Media Today wrote, "Eventually, once documentation proving that Orla was indeed a guidedog was received by Easyjet, the company moved Joanna on to the next available flight, free of charge. Only then did the Easyjet PR team make a public response on Twitter “Pleased to report @joannajones1 is rebooked unfortunately she did not have correct paperwork earlier.” -  Unfortunately their response was perceived to be too little, too late, with users condemning it as the #worstapology ever and the Easyjet bashing continued into the night, and Monday morning. The episode even warranted coverage on The BBC, The Guardian, and across online channels."
OK so how to say an effective I am sorry to Joanne?  I am guessing there were several times in the dialogue where a little empathy from the Easyjet personnel could have probably kept the dialogue between two people or maybe 3 or 4 vs. the world. 
The short answer is meet Joanne where she is!  To do that, communicate regret for what is happening right now and check in with how she is feeling and what she is needing now. 

When communicating to Joanna that airline regulations require Easyjet to see documentation for guide dogs and she was not able to produce it, I recommend:    

"Are you aware that airline regulations require Easyjet to see documentation for guide dogs to be allowed to fly on passenger planes?  

What did I also do - I assumed her innocence.

From reading about the story, she did not know, nor was it visible on their website for blind folks.  I could say something now but I won't.  If she said, No she did not know what she needed!  I recommend:

"You both are going to need help and let me see what I can do to help you right now."

If she showed any concern about a delay this might cause, I recommend:   

"When you think about being delayed, are you feeling nervous and want to know what will happen next?

I am guessing Joanna would say Yes!

Be transparent!  Do you know what will happen next?  If so, say just the next step, "I am uncertain or certain myself.  Or I know the next thing I need to do is check with this person (?) and are you willing to let me go do that now or do you have any other questions? 

What did I just do?  I gave her some choice about what happens next.  While Tweeting - I am guessing she was feeling helpless.  Having some power in a situation promotes more dialogue than having no power which raises adrenalin, possibly, voices etc.  

So as a reminder Easy Jet, I recommend: 

Communicate about the situation the person is in now

Assume Innocence

Offer what you can do - Let me see how I can help you

Be transparent about a possible next step and ask her if she will willing to let you take that next step? 

Do you have other other suggestions Joanna?  Or anyone else? 

Why social media is so connecting & email a thing of the past...

Do you want to belong to 'your' community?  To matter?  Speak authentically?  

Take the leap and jump into social media wholeheartedly - it is liberating!   I will show you here how in upcoming posts.  

The future is already here.  Join the countdown your email becoming obsolete!  

Does that sound scary?  Well let me prove it.  How many email do you receive and how many do you even open?  I only open 50% of what I receive.  Why because I want to spend my time on what I love, feel passionate about and with like-minded people.  That my friends is the way of the future.

Sources say, "Global revenue from social media -- composed of advertising, games and subscription revenue -- will reach $29 billion by 2015 up from $7 billion in 2010."  

Check out this video and hear what college kids in the Class of 2015 will be doing and we are sure to follow...   

 http://www.simplyzesty.com/viralvideos/the-class-of-2015-social-media-statistics/

4 year old with rocking empathy skills

I love this story which, for me, encapsulates our human 'empathy potential' at any age... 

Author & lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.  Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,  "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

Please comment if this story stirs your heart with 'hope for humanity' like it does mine or please connect with me by sharing what came up in you...

How a smiley, graffiti artist's death taught me about love Tuesday...

While a group of us gathered for tea after yoga on Tuesday, I asked for suggestions to write about in this blog.  A loving friend mentioned the sudden death of the local graffiti artist. Seems innocent enough...

I am not sure if my heart tightened or the thought 'criminal activity' crossed my mind or a sinking feeling in my stomach came first.  My next reaction was thinking 'No' in my mind and then looking at my friend questioning - I thought I liked her.  It is hard to explain but my vision seemed to tighten and she got smaller in my view, diminished in my mind and a part of me made plans to be weary of her...

And she is so much fun. loving, full of life.  What was I thinking?

Well I was still 'judging her.' I was not thinking with an open mind or heart, when I finally spoke up saying, "No is there anything else?"  

She continued to say, how he was a postman and so young, etc...  I pulled out my Iphone, found an article about his death and saw his shining, smiling, youthful face under his postman's hat and my heart warmed.  I continued reading, he got permission to paint and my world stopped!  

I finally became conscious of my static first impression, the journey I travel being triggered and was now back loving my friend who recommended this topic...

I realized for years when I saw graffiti paintings, I valued consideration for those who maintain the property, for those who look after the property and I wanted choice about where there was 'art' there or not even if I am on a train or bus traveling through a city.  When I saw graffiti in the past, I never considered that a graffiti artist would ever asked and had an agreement to paint...  

I have a sense of sadness at the way I prejudged Alvaro Angeles who died at 33. A friend of his shared,  "When a guy like him will work 10-12 hours, knowing he's a postman, getting out and coming back and doing a piece (graffiti) — that's dedication... that's love," Sesalem said.

I learned a real lesson Tuesday about love.   Marshall Rosenberg said, in Practical Spirituality, “Nonviolent Communication evolved from my attempt to understand this (universal) concept of love and how to manifest it, how to do it.”  Both Alvaro and I are in the business of inspiring love and I just didn't see it before now.  Thanks Alvaro, I have grown and learned from you even after your passing...

At least have a look at his beautiful smiling face on this photo....a work of art unto itself. 

http://www.wfaa.com/entertainment/Dallas-Graffiti-Artist-Mourned-Through-Public-Art-132028183.html

I bet Obama and Sarkozy would like a 'social re-do' - don't we all?

Re-do

1.  What is a re-do?
re•do   [v. ree-doo; n. ree-doo]
1. to do again; repeat. 2. to revise or reconstruct: to redo the production schedule.
Noun 3. the act or an instance of redoing.4. something redone.

2.  What is a 'social re-do' and why practice it?
A social re-do is to reconnect any disconnect between 2 human beings.  Human beings feel connected when they have a sense that care, consideration, love, respect, trust, belonging, mattering, etc is in the air, in the house, in the present moment.

3. Who do I do re-do with?
Any human being you would feel uncomfortable to see or meet again, this includes family members.  There is ‘something’ sitting between you.

4. When to know to ask for a re-do?

You take some action. (France's President Sarkozy saying the Israeli Prime Minister a liar.)

You ask for a re-do when you receive feedback or see in someone’s reaction to what you did, said or didn’t do was not a clear communication of what is in your heart.  Or, you can think, feel, sense in your own reaction that you would like to relate in a way that is more mutually satisfying.  Perhaps the act/action did not show the care you have in this circumstance or for this person, you had a thought questioning what the heck you just did or said, you because aware you were not fully honest or transparent, the action stimulated confusion or pain in another, etc.

5.  How to prepare for a re-do.
Stop, take time to connect to what is important to you, in your heart, (remember the point is to reconnect any disconnect between 2 human beings) and consider your long term goals for how you want to be in the world (not maybe the strategy that lead to the disconnection) and for how you want to connect with other human beings.

6.  Doing a re-do
There is no ‘right’ way to do a re-do.  Having the intention to want a re-do is re-connecting. 

You can say, “Are you willing to do a re-do with me?  I would love a re-do?  Have you every heard of a re-do? Re-dos enable us human beings to be works in progress and to see our fellow man as works in progress as well. President Sarkozy could send a message to Netanyahu something like 'I long for reliability and I wonder if you would be will to do a re-do with me?'  Just a thought... Happy to hear your ideas!

Do you value 'social re-dos'? Let me hear from any social re-doers like yourself.  I want to inspire more re-dos...